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奧德麗 赫本, 高尚的靈魂

Audrey Hepburn, An Elegant Spirit

Although she was never an ardent follower of any formal religion, my mother’s own faith endured throughout her life: her faith in love, her faith in the miracle of nature, and her faith in the goodness of life. She honored this second chance at life at every opportunity that presented itself and most of all at the end of her life, through her work for UNICEF.

Sometimes a near-death experience can free us of the shackles that life slowly trains us to wear. We come to realize what’s worth the sweat and what isn’t. Although she had no memory of her childhood near-death experience, the knowledge of it, coupled with the fertile ground of an already self-effacing nature, were the roots of the humility that graced her entire life.

I never heard her say, “I did this,” or “I’ve done that.” Toward the end of her life, throughout the UNICEF years, I would hear her say regularly, as the world listened to her, “I can do very little.” I never heard her say that she liked any of her performances. When people complimented her, she would always shy away and ultimately explain how those who surrounded her were the reason for her success.

Bessie Anderson Stanley wrote, “To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.” By Ms. Stanley’s standards, my mother’s life was a success: She was graced with good choices. The first choice she made was her career. Then she chose her family. And when we, her children, were grown and had started our lives, she chose the less fortunate children of the world. She chose to give back. In that important choice lay the key to healing and understanding something that had affected her throughout her entire life: the sadness that had always been there.

Her choices healed the sadness of a little girl who didn’t know her father for most of her life and yet who yearned and longed for that warm embrace, that reassurance that you are loved and that you matter. When I look back, that is just what she gave to Luca and me: the reassurance that we were loved and that we mattered. This was the most valuable essence, the roots that live and grow forever inside you. She truly was a wonderful mother and friend.


雖然她并非一個某種正式宗教的熱切信奉者, 但我母親在其一生中卻懷抱著自己的信念和信心: 這些信念囊括了她對愛的信念,對自然奇跡的信念 , 和對生活里仁善的信念。在她為聯合國兒童基金會工作的年月里,她十分珍惜生活中出現的再次機會以及所呈現的每一次機遇尤其是在她晚年歲月中所遇到的每一次機遇。

有時,一種瀕于死亡的體驗(即:死去活來或死里逃生的體驗)能讓我們從生活中業已慢慢形成的精神桎梏中解脫出來。 使我們認識到那些東西是值得為之奮斗的那些則不是。 雖然她對孩提時期死里逃生的感受已記憶模糊,但由于對這種體驗有了認識,再結合那種業已養成的遜讓與謙和的本性,則形成了那種使她表現出謙和遜讓的人生態度的源泉和動力,正是由于這種態度才讓她一生都光彩無匹。

我從沒有聽到她說過此類言語," 這是我做的," 或 " 那也是我做的”。 即便到了她的晚年,在為聯合國兒童基金會做事的整個期間,自始至終,我常聽她說過的話則是, 正如國際上所周知的那樣,"我個人能做的非常有限! 就這么簡單,謙遜。我從未聽她提起過自己的作為也未見她對此表示過滿意和欣喜。 當人們贊揚她的時候, 她總是會不好意思地加以回避,然后又會解釋說她的成功應歸功于那些在她身邊工作的人們。

貝西安德森?斯坦利曾寫到," 能夠時常地笑并笑得多, 能夠贏得賢達開明人士的尊敬和孩子們的愛戴, 能夠贏得正直善良的批評家們的賞識并能容忍虛偽奸詐的朋友的辜負及虧枉, 會欣賞美, 善于發現別人的長處和優點,不論去幫助一個孩子改善其健康,或拾掇出一片美麗的田土還是改善一下社會環境條件來讓世界更美好,哪怕就一點點, 甚至獲悉由于自己盡了一點力而使某個人的生活過得更容易一些, 這就是成功! 按照斯坦利女士的標準, 我母親的生活就是屬于這種情況: 由于她所進行的美好選擇讓她成為了一位光彩而高尚的人。她所做的第一個選擇是她的事業。 然后她選擇了家庭。 而且當我們,她的孩子, 長大成人并開始了自己的生活時, 繼而又選擇了世界上生活得很不幸的孩子們做為她奉獻愛心的對象。 她選擇了回歸。 在這個重要的選擇中蘊含著對與治愈和理解那種始終貫穿并影響她一生的某種東西的關鍵: 一種揮之不去的悲涼情緒。

她的選擇治愈了一位在她生活的大部分時間里都不認識自己的父親,而且一直都渴望著能得到一個溫暖的擁抱和那種被愛和被關懷的慰藉的小女孩的悲傷。 當我追憶往昔時, 覺得那正是她所給予盧卡和我的東西: 我們被愛和被關懷的安全和慰藉感。 這就是最有價值和最寶貴的東西,一個在你內心深處蕩漾生長著的源泉。她真不愧為一位出色的母親和朋友。




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